Just recieve another phone bill. I have already been spending dear dear's money.. which i dun like it at all. I never like to depend on others for money. 100 bucks for 2 weeks is really not enough... Having to have almost all of my meals outside.. plus settling my own phone bill... its never enough...
I know i had work tt day... earning about 7o odds bucks.. however.. i have not recieve my pay yet... I'm sick and tired of not having a single cent with me... its hell.. whenever i'm hungry... i have to tolerate.. even when im thirsty.. i have to tell myself tt i dun even have 10cents with me... how can i afford to drink.... if not i have to take money from dear..
when exactly can i be loaded??? now my ATM card is useless... i dun understand the presence of it... i could have just throw it into the fucking bin..

Seeing that her daughter going out without a single cent... she is not even worry... she thinks that im that wonderful that i can survive without m0ney.. which i eventually did... but still.. its suffering... why is she so heartless... she dun treat my bro or my sister this way...
She will always help my bro to pay phone bill in advance if she sees tt my bro has got no money... but for me is a different case.. cause im a middle child...
Middle child is always known to be a superman... can do everything by herself or himself.

Reason of the middle child not being dote...

eldest child is a male.. the only male... therefore and naturally... people will tend to dote..
youngest.. despite the gender... he or she will still get everyone's attention.. cause he or she is the youngest... therefore and naturally again need people's attention...

so again.... therefore and naturally... middle child is meant to survive himself or herself and leave to die alone.. even having no one to clear the body too.. cause he or she needs to be independent... learning how to decompose by himself or herself.

And big fuck... i'm the one who needs to decompose by herself... buying a graveyard for myself.. but got no money.. so ya.. i just die in public lor..
though i know dear will buy one for me..

but... i dunnoe... i so scared... cause i know.. right now.. i only have him to dote me... without him... i think i can just end my life pls...

so dear... i need you damn badly.. without you... my heart will stop beating... in other word... i am living for you.... u are the reason why i am still here...


Had a friendly match today... with the national girls team... game was still alright during the 1st half... but the worst thing.. I HAVE GOT NO SUB.... damn... i was damn shagged after the 1st half.. i wanted to die pls... and i din really mange to keep their ball out of my gaol post..
NO WAY... im so going to keep tranining my keeping till im damn good at it... i wan to have no balls to invade my goal post...

Labels: Its okay if i have got nothing... but without you.. i'm nothing.... [ i will be the world best female keeper ]