Its been a real busy week..
I'd just completed my race..
Utterly of how much i am disappointed with my performance..

500M
Get in second or third for my heats,
got into semi finals.
However, semifinal, i came in 4th...
so i din made it into the finals. :(
but i've got to say that my opponents are strong...

200m
i was doing great,
I got into semi finals as well as finals..
getting second for my heat, and third for my semi-final
i put quite lots of hope in this event.
however, the final result was... i'd got disqualified.
i think i am utterly disappointed with myself.
I capsize..
when i was transported back by the motor boat,
i questioned myself, why did i cap...
when i am able to brace it back?
sad and ashame to say..
it was not exactly of the reason i'd told my team mates.
cause i think they will be disappointed with me...
just like how much i am and feeling shameful...
Yes.. i was affected by the wind that was blowing during my race...
i brought my hands high during my recovery...
and tt cause me to be unstable..
what was the shameful thing is that..
my mental gave me up as i saw opponents chased up..
after a few times of unstable-ness, my mind has control me..
it was telling me.. "cannot cannot"
sigh...
Yanli, i think you will be saying "wth" after you read this paragragh..
I was too ashame to let this out..
however.. i dun feel good if i dun get it off my chest.
....
well its a shitty feeling to hear that i am disqualified..
I will not allow this anymore..
cause... its not the way to be..
and i promise to train hard for my every race.. and to row at my best..
i will work hard for my IVP..
get a medal..
make myself and everyone proud..
national champs for polo is in 5 weeks time.. and IVP for sprint will be in october..
I'm going to do it...
That is a promise to myself.. and my team...

anyway.. this song is nice..



dear dear, thank you your support these days..
staying by my side when i was stress over my project..
trying to keep yourself awake when u know tt you were tired..
and having school at 8am the next morning..
therefore... this is a small small tiny winy song for you...




Yeah... hey... Oh...

[Pat says:]
That's much I love you (yeah)
That's how much I need you (yeah, yeah, yeahah)
And I can't stand ya
Most everything you do
Make me wanna smile
Can I not like you for awhile (no... oh...)

[maybe you wanna say:]
Cuz' you won't let me
You upset me girl
And then you kiss my lips
All of a sudden I forget (that I was upset)
Can't remember what you did

[Then Pat says:]
But I hate it...
You know exactly what to do
So that I can't stay mad at you
For too long that's wrong

[Then maybe you will wanna say again:]
But I hate it...
You know exactly how to touch
So that I don't want to fuss... and fight no more
Said I despise that I adore you

[Then Pat will says again:]
And I hate how much I love you boy (yeah...)
I can't stand how much I need you (I need you...)
And I hate how much I love you boy (oooh whoah...)
But I just can't let you go
And I hate that I love you so (oooh...)

[you might wanna say:]
And you completely know the power that you have
The only one that makes me laugh

[pat says:]
Sad and it's not fair
How you take advantage of the fact
That I... love you beyond the reason why (why...)
And it just ain't right

[you maybe saying:]
And I hate how much I love you girl
I can't stand how much I need you (yeah...)
And I hate how much I love you girl
But I just can't let you go
But I hate that I love you so

[Both:]
One of these days maybe your magic won't affect me
And your kiss won't make me weak
But no one in this world knows me the way you know me
So you'll probably always have a spell on me...

[Ne-Yo:]
Yeaahhh... Oohh...

[Both:]
And I hate that I love
You soooooooo!

[Pat says:]
As much I love you (as much as I need you oh...)
As much as I need you (oooh... as so much I love you)
As much I love you (oh...)
As much as I need you

[Pat says:]
And I hate that I love you soooo
And I hate how much I love you boy
I can't stand how much I need ya (cant stand how much I need you)
And I hate how much I love you boy
But I just can't let you go (but I just can't let you go no...)
And I hate that I love you so

And I hate that I love you so... soo...