Its actually not about me playing with new team mates..
better new team mates (you know what i mean)..
The problem doesn't lie on them...
being too fast or a better player..
the game is about speed..
if they are fast and im slow..
then im wrong..
da cuo te cuo..

i know you were trying to console me..
but i know you know that it is not not me..
because its me that drops..
if i can feel it...
a better player than me like you.. can definitely see it..

i know crying does't help..
i know sitting there alone not talking doesn't help...
but i just can't help it but to do so..
cause i can't hold it back anymore..
when i know that i'm terrible..

Its true of what i was told..
i've lost it all..
i need to get it back..
i know people will say that its never too late..
but i think, it is..
if you can bluetooth with my brain..
then i think you will get what i mean..

its so painful to play in the game..
not only my bones have rust..
and the sharp pain all over my muscles starts to come..
and makes me feel retarded..
The worst thing is that..
my thumb makes me feel like a freak..

i never knew how dear dear feels until i'd gotten it that day..
so i think no one will know how it feels until you get it too..

Its so irritating that you feel the pain in the middle of the game..
gripping the paddle together with the pain..
doing keep when i know that my thumb feels tired..
literally tired after the pain..
can you imagine..
your body being tired cause of the game...
such a BIG body..
and still.. you have to feel the another little thing at the end of your palm feels like shit too (if you realised, who's thumb would feel tired in a polo game?)..
ya! i know people thinks that, afterall its just a thumb..
how pain can it be...
try this..
cut yourself with deep cut and also cut a small one..
tell me.. which is more painful?(if you get the logic here)

my left thumb is already horrible enough that it always get dislocated..
And now the better one just have to get worse than the left one..
How nice...

and ya..
its like as if my thumb will feel better in the colder country..
how much nicer..

Labels: all shit comes together becomes shitty..