I had the verge to do it that night.
Making up my mind.
But for the second thought..
i know i can't live without it..
cause its something i like to do ( i no longer love it though)

That day..
i did tt race..
ending up with a 4th position..
i used to mind for being the 4th..
i mind rowing behind people..
but now..
i know i am rowing for competition..
and i heaven got any medal yet (something tt i always hate bout)
knowing that i've came in the 4th..
the feeling has totally change..
i doesn't seems to feel anything..
but only..
no more medal again..

i think..
i've this phrase in mind..
wo jiu zhi shen yi si si de huo..
such tt, one water molecule can kill it..
oh well..
i know the main reason for it..
but all in all..
i still know i like doing it..
but i don't know how long i can hang on..



p.s i just feel tt way... a dot out of the circle.. he says its two..