Three weeks of holiday felt like it was so long...
but i thought holidays suppose to feel like as if its like a few days..
its enough for me..
I'm ready for school,
or maybe when my works come..
i will wish that hols never end..
Maybe its December..
somehow...
a month that i hate..
a month that i always feel depress..
a month that no one will ever know how i feel..
a month that history will always repeat..
apart from him, the story..

well, maybe this "month" will lengthen..
and slowly,
these pain will slowly fade away..
i don't know how long it will takes..
or maybe everything is just me being paranoid..
but i can't help it..
cause what i see is creating these atmosphere within me.
oh well..
let it be..
maybe i ought to learn the skill..
the skill of numb..
the skill of "rubber face"..

--------------------------------------------------------------

it hurts..
i wanna throw how i used to.. no pain, no sweat..
i wanna shoot how i used to.. no pain, no tears..
its so painful that i can tell that its crying to me..
my left tells me, "i can't do as well as right.."
i have to do it..
train it..
cause i have a feeling that its no longer going to be fine..

i can't
throw
shoot
row properly
side draw
probably can't brace

my arm would probably fall off if i happen to do hand roll..
i practically can't do anything..
okay..
it as good as useless..

Labels: break