i suddenly feel so insecure..
i feel very helpless..

At this point of time..
i just feel like staring into space..
and not think about anything...
wishing time would pause..
and stop making everything to have an end..
I don't mind suffering from what i was bothered with..
even if time would to pause at that moment..
and ease all these..
I really don't mind..

I hate acting strong in front of everyone when i'm not..
its so hard..
i can feel my mummy falling apart..
and it is why i can't,
i can't afford to fall apart too..
i have to pick her up..
and my sis has yet to know the truth..

I don't want to imagine life without him..
but reality is coming..

I used to have nightmare..
dreaming that either one of them leaving me..
and that when i wake..
i remember how terrible it feels..

i somehow hate my brain...
if it shut, at least i won't hate it as much as i do right now..
WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP!!!???