I've been crying to sleep..
worrying and wishing that maybe someone above..
be it if it is jesus, mother mary, guan ying pu sa or dua pe gong,
will take pity on this OLD girl tt she needs to graduate and start contributing some money to this household... *grant me this wish*

sometimes i wish to have dear dear's 10% of brain juice...
okay maybe 5% will do.. i am not greedy...
and be like him,
to remain calm even when stress is around...

i seriously dunnoe how to handle stress..
and..
all i know and think of is that,
crying makes me feel better...
all the more i hold my tears back...
then the more i feel stress
and i will feel like as if a nuclear war is happening in my head,
ants running all over my heart...

I never know how to proceed till someone tells me what to do..
i love spoon feeding..
sometimes...
i wonder...
what am i good for???
crying???
who dun know tt???
or is it tt i've yet to find my real talent..
*sigh*
apparently..
i think i'm always stupid...

"oh well..
its time to face reality...
stop being a cry baby
and handle stress like an adult...
since now you know daddy is going under chemo...
and it cost like ten thousands of nuclear bomb..
you need to graduate and contribute something to the family...
YOU NEED TO GRADUATE!YOU NEED TO GRADUATE!YOU NEED TO GRADUATE!YOU NEED TO GRADUATE!YOU NEED TO GRADUATE!YOU NEED TO GRADUATE!YOU NEED TO GRADUATE!YOU NEED TO GRADUATE!YOU NEED TO GRADUATE!YOU NEED TO GRADUATE!YOU NEED TO GRADUATE!YOU NEED TO GRADUATE!YOU NEED TO GRADUATE!YOU NEED TO GRADUATE!YOU NEED TO GRADUATE!YOU NEED TO GRADUATE!YOU NEED TO GRADUATE!YOU NEED TO GRADUATE!YOU NEED TO GRADUATE!YOU NEED TO GRADUATE!YOU NEED TO GRADUATE!YOU NEED TO GRADUATE!YOU NEED TO GRADUATE!YOU NEED TO GRADUATE!YOU NEED TO GRADUATE!YOU NEED TO GRADUATE!YOU NEED TO GRADUATE!YOU NEED TO GRADUATE!YOU NEED TO GRADUATE!YOU NEED TO GRADUATE!YOU NEED TO GRADUATE!YOU NEED TO GRADUATE!YOU NEED TO GRADUATE!YOU NEED TO GRADUATE!YOU NEED TO GRADUATE!YOU NEED TO GRADUATE!YOU NEED TO GRADUATE!YOU NEED TO GRADUATE!YOU NEED TO GRADUATE!YOU NEED TO GRADUATE!YOU NEED TO GRADUATE!YOU NEED TO GRADUATE!YOU NEED TO GRADUATE!YOU NEED TO GRADUATE!YOU NEED TO GRADUATE!YOU NEED TO GRADUATE!YOU NEED TO GRADUATE!YOU NEED TO GRADUATE!
and
YOU MUST GRAdUATE!!YOU MUST GRAdUATE!!YOU MUST GRAdUATE!!YOU MUST GRAdUATE!!
YOU MUST GRAdUATE!!YOU MUST GRAdUATE!!YOU MUST GRAdUATE!!YOU MUST GRAdUATE!!
YOU MUST GRAdUATE!!YOU MUST GRAdUATE!!YOU MUST GRAdUATE!!YOU MUST GRAdUATE!!
YOU MUST GRAdUATE!!YOU MUST GRAdUATE!!YOU MUST GRAdUATE!!YOU MUST GRAdUATE!!
YOU MUST GRAdUATE!!YOU MUST GRAdUATE!!YOU MUST GRAdUATE!!YOU MUST GRAdUATE!!
YOU MUST GRAdUATE!!YOU MUST GRAdUATE!!YOU MUST GRAdUATE!!YOU MUST GRAdUATE!!
YOU MUST GRAdUATE!!YOU MUST GRAdUATE!!YOU MUST GRAdUATE!!YOU MUST GRAdUATE!!
YOU MUST GRAdUATE!!YOU MUST GRAdUATE!!YOU MUST GRAdUATE!!

p.s i want my daddy to watch my wedding...
i want them in every part of my life...